Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
