i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize