i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
