You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
