you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
