I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Randomize
