what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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