I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
