I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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