I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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