Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
