I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
