it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
