we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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