yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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