You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
