He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
