the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
