you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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