i may or may not be watching the land before time
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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