She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
