Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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