I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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