I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
