so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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