So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
