So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
