Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
