We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
