How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had to cum in my sink.
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