we have officially lost it.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
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You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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