Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
