i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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