I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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