I'm really into asian looking animals
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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