you guys were way drunker than both of me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
