So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
