Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
