covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
