went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
