I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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