Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
