My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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