In the future we'll all be gay
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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