One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize