we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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