On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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