i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
