K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
