I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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