NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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