Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
