3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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