my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
