so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
