Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
