More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
