Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
