is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
why is half of my head shaved?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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