My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
