im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
