Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
