I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
