There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Boobs speak an international language.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
