I got chris browned last night
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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